Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Favre Solution?

While trying to make a routine phone call earlier today, I was somehow connected into a conversation between Brett Favre (who left Packer training camp yesterday) and CFL commissioner Mark Cohon. The following is a transcription of their dialogue.

Mark Cohon: Hello Brett, listen, I've always been a big fan of yours and I'd really appreciate a few minutes of your time to discuss a very exciting idea. I'm with the CF...

Brett Favre: Sorry buddy, I've already got an insurance guy and a family friend handles all my investments. How did you get this number anyways?

Cohon: No Brett, I'm not interested in representing or advising you in any way. I'm actually the commissioner of the Canadian Football League.

(Awkward pause)

And, ahhh (nervous laugh)...I've got a proposal for you. Green Bay is offering you $20 million to stay retired from the NFL, but they never said anything about our league.

Favre: Ahhh, look partner, I'm a National Football League quarterback. Four down football. Best players in the world. That's the stage I compete on.

Cohon: Look, you've already won the Superbowl, been the MVP and rewritten the NFL record books. What else is left to accomplish down there? Our season is already one-third over and wraps up right around American Thanksgiving. Instead of hanging out in Mississippi and throwing passes to highschool kids while waiting for a good team to get into injury trouble, why not come up here for a few months and get into game shape?

Favre: Wait, did the Bills move to Toronto? Dangit, I thought I heard something about that a few months back.

Cohon: No the Bills are still in Buffalo...well, kind of. But we've got eight teams and only three or four legitimate quarterbacks, so you could pretty much have your pick of the litter. Ever been to Regina?


Warren Moon, Joe Theismann, Doug Flutie. We've had several star NFL quarterbacks, why not play meaningful games and build your legend while showcasing yourself for a possible return to the NFL in November? At that point it will be far easier to determine which teams are serious contenders. Do you really want to go to Kansas City or the Jets?

Favre: I dunno...maybe. I hadn't ever considered Canada. What's this gig pay?

Cohon: Well our salary cap just rose to $4.2 million

Favre: Hmmm. Four mill.

Cohon: Ahhhh, no that was actually per team so you're looking at something more like a couple hundred grand, but think about the upside: you could...

Favre: Click.

Cohon: Brett? Hello?