The Canadian Sports Broadcasting Power Rankings V 2.0

#474 - Gabriel Morency - In November the management team at The Score finally came to their senses and removed Morency from his daily national program that was killing more Canadian brain cells than BC bud. Gabe is a horrific broadcaster, incapable of making an articulate point or creating an interesting argument. Listening to his show for even a second always made me think of the classic Billy Madison quote "what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it."

#296 - Jason Portuondo - Now that Morency is off the air, Portuondo could be the worst sports broadcaster in the country. Ummm, Jason: There is no such thing as an "offensive rebound" in hockey, it's just a damn rebound. Same thing for baseball, where an error isn't "unforced", it's simply an error. The good news is if he keeps this up we'll soon be watching Portuondo push ridiculous comments on viewers of the Weather Channel.

#107 - P.J. Stock - He continues to attempt to set the world record for most words packed into a 60 second segment but at least the producers haven't moved him back onto 'Hotstove', where he was like Scrappy Doo, only even more annoying. To be fair, Stock has improved during his three years on HNIC, and in another three years he could be very good. But the first three years haven't been a lot of fun.

#81 - Ron MacLean - You certainly can't question his sporting knowledge, he's always been extremely well researched and prepared for any and every interview and you'll never catch him off guard with a random name, story or stat. He knows his stuff 100%. For a good ten years I thought MacLean was the best broadcaster in Canada, but the last number of years he's drifted away from what made him great. Instead of asking good questions, he rants on and on inserting copious amounts of background information into his question which he effectively answers even while delivering it.

#21 - Sid & Tim - The late-night duo on The Score make a big drop down from last year's rankings mainly because they've lost their cool. They've gone from loose and likable to over the top and kind of goofy. Not long ago they were innovative...unique...and awesomely funny, and now all you see are knee slaps and over-laughing along with way too many hand signals and pointing. They've become those weird dudes on the dance floor who try too hard. Get back behind a desk! Canadians like their sportscasters to appear legless.

#12 - Gerry Dee - Originally I thought his schtick on The Score would wear thin very quickly, but I've totally reversed my position. Now I love his bits, his dry humour, and the way he can pull off the lost puppy look without fail. During the group pieces with Cabbie, Sid and Tim, he steals every scene. And the Wiserhood commercial where he rips a hole in his sweater so that he won't match his wife...I've seen it 1000 times and it still gets me everytime. A year ago I would have said Dee was one of my least favorite Score personalities. Now the rankings (within the rankings) would look like this:

1. Gerry Dee
2. Cabbie
3. Sid + Tim
5. Glenn Schiller
204. Jake Thompson

#8 - James Duthie - He has found a home as the host of NHL hockey on TSN. Duthie knows how to provide the proper balance between straight-forward hockey talk and the humour/entertainment factor. The panel changes, but Duthie is constant and he always gets the best out of whichever analysts happen to be joining him. Anyone who can make Craig Mactavish seem personable has to be good at his job.

#4 - Mike Milbury - The new star of 'Hotstove' has quickly turned himself into the main reason why the second intermission on Saturday nights continue to be perhaps the best seven minutes of television each week. You may not always (or ever) agree with what Milbury has to say, but he certainly is entertaining. Watching him dismantle Ian Pulver in back-to-back episodes was particularly delightful. So are the endless jabs and jokes that his counterparts continue to fire at him because A) his track record as GM of the Islanders and B) the time he went into the crowd, pulled off a spectators shoe, proceeded to repeatedly smack him with it, and then poured ketchup on the shoe and fed it to the poor guy. (Okay, I made up the last part, but the rest is true.)

#1 - Darren Dutchyshen - Dutchy continues to be the gold standard against which every other Canadian sports broadcaster is judged. His delivery is engaging and he nails every one-liner. Basically, he's the exact opposite of everyone on Entertainment Tonight Canada. I can't find a single fault, not even the vest he now wears under his suit.

The Canadian Sports Broadcasting Power Rankings

#221 Rance Mulliniks
If I turn on the Jays game and Rance is the analyst you better believe my TV is on mute while my iTunes takes over, at least for the first six innings. Because nine innings listening to Mulliniks attempt to predict the next pitch, or gush about the last pitch is too much for me to handle. He just talks and talks and talks, continuing stories from previous innings, through pitching changes, and probably through a blackout if Toronto ever got hit with another one.

#146 Michael Landsberg
Even with the improvements made to Off The Record (Up Front and Next Question), I'm not likely to tune in unless the guest is someone big. Really big, like Kanye big. I have to give Landsberg credit for being unafraid to ask the tough questions though. He'll challenge his guests and pushes the envelope considerably further than almost everyone else in the business, but it doesn't make up for how obnoxious he is. When Tony Kornheiser interrupts someone I enjoy it, Landsberg...not so much.

#53 Leo Rautins
Leo has a great voice, he sounds like a broadcaster, he's got that smooth flowing tone and he almost never trips over his own words. With the departure of Chuck Swirsky, his partner for Raptor broadcasts, it'll be interesting to see how Rautins reacts. Part of my problem with him has been his lack of intensity, I thought he and Chuck were too quick to ham it up during broadcasts but that may have been more Chuck's schtick with Leo just following suit. His analysis isn't always that strong either, there's a lot of: "Raptors need to come out and hit their shots", or "No defence Chuck, Sam's gonna have to call timeout. Good timeout by Sam".

#24 Jay Onrait
My choice as the funniest person on the list. I wouldn't say he knows the NHL inside out or even has a clue which cities have teams in the NBA, but the man can joke. He'll take chances when going for a laugh and realize right away when it it didn't work, and he'll clean it up with a quick facial segue or self-deprecating comment. Sportscenter should give him a nightly gig modeled after Saturday Night Live's 'Weekend Update' segment, Onrait could show whatever highlights he wanted from the day and just pour one-liners on top. If Gerry Dee can get his own spot, surely Onrait deserves a chance.

#9 Jennifer Hedger
Always seems like she's having a good time, like she actually cares about the results she's reading. I think Hedger understands how many of us out there care way too much about the scores and stories she reports and works hard to not let us down. Do you think Hedger plays fantasy sports? Would she play in a men's league? Maybe she's started her own leagues for women and is the commissioner for all of them? Someone should look into this.


#6 Cabral "Cabbie" Richards
I've been a fan of Cabbie's for years now. He lights up the screen and has an unbelievable ability to put athletes at ease while he interviews them. His antics are always entertaining, but now I'm at the point where I'd like to see something fresh from him and his man D. No more laying your chin on a guy's shoulder or flicking all your fingers in someone's face while questioning them. C'mon Cabbie, we know you can do so much more.

#4 Bob McKenzie
When Bobby Mac talks hockey, I listen. His word is the gospel.

#3 Don Cherry
At the ripe old age of 74 Cherry comes across a lot more ignorantly than he used to, but 'Coach's Corner' is still must-see TV. The Don is hard to understand at times because he rambles and is somewhat incoherent, but he still has his finger on the pulse of hockey. He can spot the talented player or the talented team from a mile away and is often the first to do so.

#2 Sid Seixero & Tim Micallef
The boys from the 'Score Tonight' have taken a huge step forward the last few years and now rank as my favorite tandem when it comes to delivering the evenings highlights. They laugh at and with each other and usually offer the most in-depth game highlights of any of the Canadian broadcasters.

#1 Darren Dutchyshen
The industry standard in Canada, Dutchy has been a staple for more than a decade on Sportscenter and combines humour with straightforward highlight delivery like no one else in the business. Classic Dutchyshen: A couple of years ago when Keith Tkachuck showed up to training camp with 20+ extra pounds and then took a shot off his mitt during an exhibition game, Dutchy remarks "Oh oh, I hope that wasn't his eatin' hand".